Blighty to the Bundesliga

In light of the Premier League again being (unofficially) voted the world's best league this year, having been once more outscored by their 18-team equivalent from Germany, this report takes a closer look at the links between the top flights of two of football's superpowers.

Jens Lehmann has had an encouraging season between the Stuttgart sticks, keeping more clean sheets than anyone in the top-flight this term. The former Arsenal stopper shelved plans for his autobiography, “Warum eigentlich immer Mich?” (Why always me?) with sights set on regaining his German number 1 jersey before South Africa 2010 – part of the build-up to his 41st birthday celebrations. Those of you who remember the crazed, curly-haired keeper fondly despite the tantrums and histrionics will be pleased to hear he has forsaken none of these aspects of his game since his move back home. In fact, if anything he has nurtured them, becoming an ace of antagonists-a master of his trade.

There was an incident. Hoffenheim midfielder Sejad Salihovic lost his boot contesting a 50-50 inside the Mercedes Benz Arena centre-circle, but boldly adhered to the old adage of ‘playing to the whistle’ - unaware of the predator lurking in the shadows. Out of nowhere, Lehmann lurched forward, racing fully 40 yards to covertly obtain his fellow professional’s footwear, possibly on his tip-toes. All I can say for sure is that his actions went undetected by absolutely everyone. Replays show the German collecting the shoe, scuttling back with it and slinging it over his shoulder, onto the roof of his net, before ignoring his victim’s desperate search, which went on until long after the game had restarted.

Hoffenheim coach Ralf Rangwick called it “the most unsporting thing I have ever seen”. And he cannot be too far wrong. But it was vintage Lehmann. To make matters worse, moments later Hoffenheim were awarded a penalty, Salihovic stepped up to take it, with the contest’s last kick. Guess who won the mental battle. The game finished 3-3.

Claudio Pizarro and Andriy Voronin are still employed by English clubs (at time of writing) but they have both experienced such extraordinary highs and lows this year, with Werder Bremen and Hertha Berlin respectively, that the Premeir League must seem a distant memory. Both have made impressive inroads into the Bundesliga goal-scoring charts, Pizarro notching an obscene 17 goals to Voronin’s equally disturbing 11. However, both have endured traumatic times, too – the Peruvian’s coming by way of extreme wastefulness and suspension for flailing arms, the Ukrainian’s in the form of a broken cheekbone suffered at John Terry’s hands at Wembley as well as a 3-match ban for crudely kicking out at an opponent in April.

Voronin, 29, hurtled from Hero to Zero, from being Hertha’s “Mann mit dem goldenen Zopf” (man with the golden ponytail) and commanding a 15m € price tag to being ruled out of a huge chunk of his side’s doomed run-in. 30-year-old Pizarro’s fall from grace, while equally dramatic, may have longer lasting consequences.

He shocked the world by scoring twice at the San Siro to send AC Milan crashing out of the UEFA Cup and although Werder lost the final he still faces a DFB Cup final vs Bayer Leverkusen on Saturday. But eyebrows were raised earlier this year when rumours of tax evasion and involvement in the player black market in Peru surfaced, the player allegedly having netted more than a scoring bonus for his part in bringing countryman Roberto Silva to Bremen back in 2001. This, added to previous reports of “flesh-fests” emanating from South America, may convince Werder to ditch the pitiful Peruvian this summer, whereas Voronin appears to be in demand both in Berlin and by former boss Rafael Benitez in Liverpool.

The ludicrously large representation of former Tottenham Hotspur players in the Bundesliga reflects the North London club’s revolving-door transfer policy. The likes of Paul Stalteri, Thimothee Atouba, Kevin Prince-Boateng and Gilberto have come and gone to the extent that no-one now really knows their whereabouts. We know they’re turning out for/captaining neglected XI’s somewhere. We’re just not sure whether it’s the second strings of a reserve team or a disabled team we should be searching. (Stalteri is, in fact, a valued member within the Borussia Mönchengladbach 1st team setup, but how he didn’t single-handedly take them down is beyond me.)

The team with the most Premier League input in Germany is Hannover 96, carrying 3 recruits – ex-Crystal Palace defender Valerian Ismael, his former team-mate, previously a Birmingham City employee and Chelsea supersub, Mikael Forssell and the recently retired Michael Tarnat. Up until this month the former Manchester City defender was the division’s oldest player at 39, 2 full weeks older than Jens Lehmann. When Sergio Pinto scored Hannover’s final goal of the campaign on Saturday he placed a number 18 shirt on the turf and bowed down before it in recognition of the services of Tarnat, who missed the match through injury.

Of those players registered in Germany currently being linked with sides in England, Wolfsburg’s Edin Dzeko, 23, seemed the best bet until the Bosnian striker stated his preference for a move to Serie A, perhaps to follow Brazilian Diego, who moves to Juventus next month for 29m € despite huge interest from English clubs. The most high-profile switch would be that of Bayern Munich’s Franck Ribery to Manchester United but this would only take place in the event that Cristiano Ronaldo finally moves to Madrid this summer. The Frenchman would be a more than adequate replacement for he has half the speed but twice the trickery of the Portuguese and the temperament to boot.

Sami Hyypia will transfer to Bayer Leverkusen in July, as advertised by an Anfield crowd surprisingly saddedned, apparently suffering from their version of a slow news day, with nothing else left to play for this season. Otherwise, I have only come across one seemingly unsolvable jigsaw puzzle containing the pieces: “Glen Johnson”, “Bayern Munich”, “15 million” and “pounds Sterling”. It’s kept me up at night.

Other past Premiership players to have begun this season on the books of a Bundesliga outfit include: Werder Bremen’s Petri Pasanen (once of Portsmouth), Bayern Munich’s Daniel van Buyten (Manchester City), Bayer Leverkusen’s Vratislav Gresko (Blackburn Rovers), VfB Stuttgart’s Thomas Hitzlsperger (Aston Villa) and Khalid Boulahrouz (Chelsea), Hamburg’s Guy Demel (Arsenal), Hertha Berlin’s Jaroslav Drobny and FC Köln’s Pierre Wome (both Fulham), Eintracht Frankfurt’s Junichi Inamoto (Fulham, Arsenal, Cardiff City AND West Bromwich Albion) Arminia Bielefeld’s Nico Herzig (Wimbledon) as well as Köln’s Kevin Mckenna (formerly of Heart of Midlothian).

So, in case you were wondering, that's where they all are. And that's where i'll be come August - on the edge of my seat as always. See you next season.